you dont have to follow if you give me money
you dont have to follow if you give me money
whatsagarb:

ruinedchildhood:

Court Dismissed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

When I was little I thought they actually did this in court

whatsagarb:

ruinedchildhood:

Court Dismissed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

When I was little I thought they actually did this in court

queen-of-love-and-beauty:

"I don’t wear makeup so I don’t have to waste like an hour in front of the mirror every morning hahahaha"

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"open books not legs"

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"why have tequila shots when you can have tea?"

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"As always, late with Starbucks"

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"modest is hottest"

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"I’m not like those girls”

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reneepaquettes:

"period cramps can’t be that bad"

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Men: Not ALL men.
Men to their daughters: Yes, all men. Every single one of them.

xaldien:

*stares at the lifeless body of the Frankenstein monster*

"Perhaps man is the real monster"

*voice from within the peasant mob*

"Not all men!"

squiglets:

fishytheheroguy:

squiglets:

*sees a mans ego getting crushed*
*instant reblog*

Why just a mans? Thats sexist.

*instant reblog*

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

when u try to caffeinate yourself and just end up increasing ur heart rate with no discernible changes in levels of exhaustion  

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cetaceas:

*hears child crying* *takes birth control*

reallyreallyreallytrying:

i’m the guy who shoots the bullet through the CDs to make the hole